The idea that the high street needs saving is one of the biggest misrepresentations in retail today.

At best, it’s a wilful oversimplification of a nuanced problem.

At worst, it’s complete fucking nonsense.

And yet this week, Mayor of London (and mayor of meaningless soundbites) Sadiq Khan has suggested that Oxford Street’s traffic ban is his attempt to “rescue” this area.

This promise hinges of course on a couple of important things.

Firstly, that Oxford Street needs to be rescued. This is a genuinely ridiculous thing to say, but if we take it at face value – no, it does not need to be rescued.

And secondly, it suggests that he and his government are the ones to rescue it, rather than the retailers themselves. Again, this is hard to respond to with a straight face – but no, my instincts suggest this might be beyond the capabilities of a government so bad that half the country are now willing to vote for a party who appear to just be some men from the pub.

Let’s break down why all of this is so utterly fucking stupid, but also why the negativity and brainlessness inherent in this phrasing creates real-world problems.

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